Songs for the Laurel Principal of Arms

Written by Soylent Vert, these two filks honor (we think?) the highest heraldic officer in the Society – Laurel Sovereign of Arms.  Laurel Queen was sung at KWHSS 2011 in Atlantia.

Sing these to your favorite Laurel Sovereign soon!

Laurel King, to the tune of Wild Thing, by the Troggs.

Laurel King you make my cant sing
You blazon everything groovy, Laurel King

Laurel King, I think I love you
But I want a byname for sure
Come on, show me titles, I love you

Laurel King you make my heart sing
You make submitting groovy, Laurel King

Laurel King, I think you move me
But I want some charges for sure
So come on and show me semy, you move me

Laurel King you make my cant sing
You blazon everything groovy, Laurel King
Oh come on, come on Laurel King
Draft it, check it Laurel King

And Laurel Queen, to the tune of Queen’s Killer Queen.

She keeps her Crayola markers
in a pretty cabinet
No tincture on tincture
Or she’ll throw you in an oubliette
Like Garter, she’s Sovereign
Well-versed in herald’s jargon
Ermine and semy
she can define

Blazons and epithets
Counties and baronets
Sub-ordinaries in a trice

She’s the Laurel Queen
Trumpets and Vert are seen
Dynamite with a name, you see
Guaranteed with heraldry
Anytime

Check out that new device
Showing heraldic might
You should try!

To avoid complications
She always acts with some noblesse
In conversations
She always knows Bar from Fess
External, Internal
Those Letters infernal
She meets those deadlines
All the time

The terms came naturally from Paris
for French is the form, yes
Fastidious and precise

chorus

Drop of a hat she’s as willing as
Helpful as a Pelican
Got a moniker we should check on
Fantastic beasts drawn on escutcheons
All for pomp and ceremony! (mony!)

chorus

Check out that new device
Showing heraldic might
You should try!
Really should try!

EDIT: Late breaking addition, from the desk of Potent Chief and Pureed Smurf, to the tune of House of the Rising Sun, made famous by The Animals.

House of Kjotvason

There is a house in Lonely Tower
It’s owned by Kjotvason
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know, I’m one.

My mother was a tailor
Sewed my new blue braes
My father was a voice herald
In Meridies

The major thing a herald needs
Some forms and a library
The only time that he’s satisfied
Is when his clients squee

Heralds, tell your clients
Not to do what I have done
Spend three bucks in sin and misery
In the House of Kjotvason

Well, I got a bid in to the BOD
I’m getting on a plane
I’m goin’ to Known World Heraldic
To wear that ball and chain

There is a house in Lonely Tower
It’s owned by Kjotvason
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know, I’m one.
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This entry was posted in Uncategorized by Rachel Ost. Bookmark the permalink.

About Rachel Ost

I belong to the Society for Creative Anachronism, and there, I'm known as Konstantia Kaloethina, an Eastern Roman (Byzantinian) woman of the sixth century from Constantinople. I am proteged to Master Gabriel andvaka Kjotvason, and apprenticed to Mistress Bess Darnley. I'm an American of Irish, German, Burgundian, and Norwegian descent. I share Harry Potter's birthdate (July 31st, 1983). I typically score as INTJ (Myers-Briggs), and as a confirmed Five with a Four wing "Iconoclast" (Enneagram) type, with strong scores in Musical, Visual/Spatial, and Intrapersonal on the Multiple Intelligences test.

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